Santa

From: "Saved by Internet Explorer 11" Subject: Santa Date: Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:13:13 -0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; type="text/html"; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0000_01CEFF49.DC638C10" X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.1.7601.17609 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0000_01CEFF49.DC638C10 Content-Type: text/html; charset="Windows-1252" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Location: file://C:\Users\DM Fraser\Documents\Misc\santa.html =20 Santa =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20

Santa Claus and the Effect On Our = Children

Written in 1997.

Does the effort to make our children believe in Santa Clause have any = bad=20 effects? The business comunity as wel as the entertainment industry = would say=20 no. I would have thought by now, religious groups would have demanded = that we=20 stop trying to get our children to believe in Santa Claus.

In my case it was my daughter's questions that started this train of = thought.=20 When she was a toddler we got her into the Santa myth as much as anyone. = We gave=20 her all the usual crap that if you are not good, Santa will know and = will stiff=20 you at Christmas. It came to a head when she was 6. She came to me one = day a=20 couple months before Christmas and asked me:

"Tell me the real, real, real honest truth. Is there a Santa Claus?" =

What could I do? I told her it was a story we tell our kids to make = them=20 happy at Christmas, but no, since you put it that way, there is no Santa = Claus. =20

This was accepted well as she had figured out there was no way = someone could=20 do a miracle like delivering packages to all the children in the world = in one=20 night, nor was any being capable of seeing all and knowing all. After = all, we=20 say Santa Clause can do miracles, like the toy delivery and we tell = children to=20 be good because Santa sees them and will punish the wicked and reward = the good.=20 This is actually a pretty good description of most gods through history. =

She then said that she guesses that the Easter bunny and tooth fairy = are fake=20 too and I agreed. Then she said she guessed God was fake too. She said = she won't=20 believe in anything she can't see. To this day, she's a practicing = athiest. =20

After all, the adult world fooled her. This happenned during the part = of her=20 life when she was totally trusting of authority. It turns out we pulled = one over=20 on her. All the older folks got together in this massive plot to screw = with her=20 head. Then we did it again with the Easter Bunny. Then the Tooth Fairy. = Now, how=20 can we expect kids to believe in God after taking their trusting, = budding=20 intellect and smashing that trust several times. I think we really use = Santa and his "ability" to see all and know all to control our children. In = street talk,=20 another case of "the man putting down the people".

After all, look at the propaganda machine that attempts to make = children=20 believe in Santa Claus every year. As great as all the effort put out by = the=20 churches for God, at least in the western world. Besides, the kids can = go down=20 to the local mall and sit on Santa's lap but Jesus?. Now, after fooling = them not=20 once, not twice but at least 3 times, we then expect them to believe in = an=20 invisible God.

Fooled you three times. Now believe this one will ya! I think not. = Sure kids=20 usually don't think that deep on the surface. However, my daughter has = surprised=20 me from her first words on how deep kids can be at times.

It is not my attention to debate religion or if there is a God. I'm = bit of an=20 agnostic myself. (We are not atheists. We do not deny the possibility of = a god,=20 its just that we are not sure which, if any of the contradictory stories = we have=20 been told. We're totally confused but we will find out after we die and = are=20 content to wait until then to find out. After all, what is the rest of = one's=20 natural life compared to eternity?

Either you find out there is an afterlife or there is nothing after = death. If=20 there is nothing, there is no meaning to life anyway and we agnostics = saved a=20 lot of time not bothering with church. If there is an afterlife, I = cannot=20 imagine a deity with such a fragile ego that it needed you to show up in = a=20 specific building each week to praise it.

I have a theory about what appears to be the Godlessness in our = world. It may=20 be a bit of a crackpot theory but I sort of blame the Coca Cola company. = Please=20 understand, I am not caling the Coca Cola company evil or anything. They = are=20 merely merchands trying to peddle fizzy sugar water.

I feel the decline in church attendance that started in the 1950s was = triggered in the 1920s. The 20s were when the Coca Cola company started=20 advertising campaigns that gave us our modern image of Santa Claus. This = follows=20 with the department stores in the 30s starting to promote Christmas more = and=20 more. In fact most of our modern Christmas traditions were really the = invention=20 of advertisers, stores and Hollywood screen writers. By the 50's we were = actively trying to make all our children to believe in Santa in our = younger=20 years.

By the 50's while we could not attribute it to anything, we had an = entire=20 generation of children taught there was a "Santa Clause godlike figure" = only to=20 be told later that it was fake, that we fooled them. Then we expected = them to=20 believe in another god type being that was not being pushed as hard. One = that=20 did not even bring us gifts. Kids may not have said it out loud but = after being=20 fooled about Santa, the attitude towards God was something like "get = real". =20

Personally, it was around November 1960 when I was 9, in grade 4, = that during=20 recess one day, my mother came out into the school yard (She taught the = other=20 grade 4 class at the school) with a stern look on her face. She came up = to me=20 and took me aside from my friends and in a solemn voice told me that she = had=20 something important to tell me and it had been bothering her for quite a = while..=20 I thought that oh oh, we had to move again (my dad was in the military), = but her announcement was that there was no Santa Claus. My reply was "I know". =

She was flabbergasted and asked how long I knew. I felt like saying = "What=20 kind of idiot do you take me for. I'm not stupid, I figured it out years = ago."=20 However, I really said something like " Oh, for a while now." I added = that for=20 the past few years I was stringing them along as they seemed to enjoy = fooling=20 me.

About the only good thing I can say about the Santa thing is that it = could=20 teach that giving gifts anonymously is a good thing to do. That by = having your=20 parents give gifts in the name of Santa teaches you that you should give = without=20 expecting any credit for yourself. However, I have never seen this point = made to=20 our kids once they discover there is no Santa.

To tell you the truth, Santa Claus makes a more appealing god than = the one in=20 the Bible. Santa only brings you a lump of coal if you are bad. The = biblical god=20 damns you to burn in hell forever and ever if you are bad. Which one = would you=20 pick if you are shopping for a god. No wonder our children are confused. =

While 6 year olds cannot think as clearly as adults, I know there is = a deeper=20 level of thought process going on that does not show up until later. I = believe=20 that once you take advantage of a person, they are far more alert for = being=20 taken again. By faking out our children with Santa, the Easter Bunny and = the=20 Tooth Fairy, we are breeding a pack of cynics. We are proving to our = children=20 that we cannot be trusted and what we say may turn out to be a pack of lies. No wonder the kids of = the 60s=20 said to never trust anyone over thirty.

On a slightly diferent topic for a minute, = what about=20 baby talk?

Why do we speak gibberish to our babies? They = are=20 trying to communicate with us and we teach them babble. My wife and I = made it a=20 point never to speak gibberish to our daughter and we made sure others = did not=20 either. As a consequence, she may have been a few weeks later in talking = but=20 when she was 11 months old, after not saying a word until then, while I = was=20 holding her in my arms by the back door, she points to the burglar alarm = warning sticker on the door and clear as a bell, asks "What's that". My wife = and I look=20 at each other. My wife's expression is one of total surprise and I say = "A=20 sticker."

After that she started to talk. Other than a = bit of=20 difficulty in pronouncing longer words, she could be understood from = then=20 on.

This tells me that there are deep low level = processes=20 going on in the brain. Until then, she was integrating what she heard = around her=20 and when the time was right, when she had a need that could not be = communicated=20 in standard baby methods (crying, etc.) she came out with it. =

After all, if a 3 year old could express = ideas like an=20 adult, they would probably say"

"What kind of idiots are you!. I need to = communicate=20 with you and you teach me gibberish. Now, you tell me I have to ditch = that, lose=20 years of learning and start over!"

Getting back to Santa, we are doing that as well. A kid who could = think like=20 an adult would say"

"You and the media get me to believe in this Santa religion with god = like=20 powers with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy as accomplices then you = tell me it=20 is fake! Then you try to get me to believe in a God in heaven. I think = not!.=20 Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you!

If we expect our children to believe in a God, whether you are = Christian,=20 Jew, Moslem, Hindu, animist or whatever, its time to ditch the Santa = myth. We=20 have to tell our children from day one that Santa is a fairy story that = was=20 distorted over time and brought to its modern form by the Coca Cola = company. An=20 amusing story for entertainment, like A Christmas Carol.

I think it is no coincidence that the first generation fully immersed = in the=20 Santa Clause machine since birth, those being teens in the 60s. came up = with the=20 philosophy of "Never trust anyone over 30". Now, we who were brought up = in the=20 60's are doing the same deceitful thing to our children. We are = suckering our=20 children just so industry can suck us into buying bigger and more costly = gifts to exchange in the holidays. I believe we can still be coerced into = buying=20 gifts to exchange without violating the trust of our children by getting = them to=20 believe in a false god. Santa can stay but has to be presented as a = fairy tale=20 like we do with Sleeping Beauty and the others.

This is not to say we should stop celebrating Christmas (or whatever) = or=20 exchanging gifts. A gift exchange festival around winter solstice is a = part of=20 pretty well every culture and has been with us for thousands of years. = It is a=20 nice tradition to continue. I like getting gifts and the tradition does = help=20 stimulate the economy. Otherwise almost no man would ever end up owning = more=20 than 3 ties.

Making our children worship a false god, Santa Claus, has to stop. If = we stop=20 doing this we may get the next generation's trust back.

I would appreciate comments on this. My email is = dfraser2@socal.rr.com

Dan Fraser

Here is a very thoughtful reply to the above I received on August = 22,=20 1998.

Hi Dan -

I was surfing when I accidentally stumbled on your opinion about = Santa=20 Claus. My wife and I have been trying for some years to conceive = and were=20 finally successful 4 months ago so I am particularly interested in child = rearing=20 right now and your page peaked my interest.

I remember finding out he wasn't real myself (although that was 25 = years ago,=20 I am 32). My Dad told me just after I had stood up for Santa in = school in=20 front of everyone. After the revelation I wasn't upset or = mistrusting so=20 much as I was angry that I had been lied to for so long which also = ultimately=20 led to my own humiliation. So, regarding the issue of betraying = our=20 children's trust I sympathize with you.

Even so, I see the merit in teaching the value of giving anonymously = to=20 children by example. I remember that along with my anger was = bewilderment=20 why my parents would give so much when I knew they had so little, and = they=20 demanded no recognition for it (they told me "the truth" because they = thought I=20 was mature enough - it was like a compliment, although it came a little = too late). As a result I realized that Christmas was about = giving. Although I think my parents should've told me "the truth" sooner in = life, I'm=20 also glad they taught me this lesson by example.

I also learned that maturity is rewarded with knowledge and greater=20 understanding. Pretending is a wonderful part of childhood, and = pretending=20 is a far, far cry from malicious lying. Admittedly, my parents = were too=20 slow in telling me "the truth" but had they done it earlier in life I = would've=20 felt proud that my parents thought I'd grown out of the 'pretending'=20 stage. Furthermore, my parents assured me that they wouldn't ever=20 "pretend" with me again that way because I was too mature to "pretend" anymore. I knew it wasn't malicious but it was necessary to teach = me an=20 invaluable lesson in a very real way to feel the very real effects of=20 disappointment when pretending
continues on to adulthood. = Learning=20 "the truth" teaches that it's time to grow up, and learning "the truth" = for many=20 children (if done at the right time) becomes a "rite of passage".

Do you remember feeling this way? Did you ever think, "Wow, I = know they=20 don't have very much money and they gave me all these gifts without = expecting me=20 to thank them"? Did you ever come to the conclusion, "There must = be=20 something more to Christmas than getting presents"? Do you = remember recognizing those around you hadn't yet grown out of the 'pretending' = stage and=20 feeling (and thereby acting) more mature? Do you think your = daughter has=20 or ever will have those feelings as a result?

So regardless of whether I will do Santa Claus, I can't help but want = to give=20 anonymously to my child on Christmas to see their pure joy without = feeling the=20 need for them to express gratitude. That's what altruism is. = What=20 better way to teach it than by example. As far as I can imagine, = Santa=20 Claus is the best way to do this. How else can I do this, and=20 simultaneously teach them the joy of giving anonymously by example? =

On another note: These comments assume NOT using Santa = Claus as a=20 manipulative tool. Using Santa manipulatively suggests to the = child that=20 there is some unseen entity that rewards good behavior and
punishes=20 bad. The unhappy truth is that good behavior is rarely rewarded = and=20 children who think otherwise are in for a disappointing reality. = Besides,=20 I for one do not want my child to be moral for selfish purposes, but = rather to=20 be moral out of strength of character.

More on this... The Santa Claus that rewards the good and punishes = the bad=20 was invented by a society that also believed in a cold, calculating God = that=20 metes out justice with no thought of mercy. Most people no longer = believe=20 that way, but somehow they still raise their children that = way. It's=20 a paradox. While Mom and Dad believe they can do as they please = because=20 they've been "saved" they're telling their kids at the same time "obey = or=20 suffer" regardless of whether they're discussing God or Santa. = Eventually=20 children grow up and learn that Santa is a myth, Mom and Dad do what = they want=20 and are still "saved", and so they (with good reason) deny God = altogether and=20 may even develop an agnostic approach to morality. Can anyone = blame them? =20

A better situation is when parents teach responsibility by example, = and if=20 they do the Santa thing they portray him as an anonymous person who = gives=20 presents purely for the joy of giving. Then Santa becomes an = example of=20 altruism, and eventually so does the parent.

Thus I think I'm leaning toward doing Santa as a real character, = because I=20 see how much good it can do if done correctly, but what is "correctly" = and how,=20 and furthermore I don't want it to become a seed of mistrust that will = rule=20 their lives. I'm devoutly religious and I trust my parents 100%, = so it=20 didn't have that effect on me, but according to your stated opinion I'm = the anomaly. If you have suggestions or still think that "Santa as a = real=20 character" cannot be rationally justified (regardless of how it is done) = I'd=20 like to know.

Thanks,
Dave Austin
Dave@hsaeug.com

Here is a reply from April 6, 2003 from Zebbie Reed

I checked out your schematic link, found your letter about Santa = Claus and=20 the other fairy tales. I believe these were created by adults for=20 themselves. For their enjoyment and amusement, and maybe sometimes also = an=20 attempt to control their child's behavior. The better behavior during = the year,=20 the better or more gifts the child will receive. I think this = teaches=20 children that the degree of "good" behavior from them will depend upon = the degree of gifts or rewards that they will receive. Instead of teaching = children=20 that good behavior is or should be the way of
life, standard of = living, and=20 is not or should not be dependent upon whether one receives rewards from = anyone=20 or even in life. But then, how does one or society define "good = behavior", which also leads to the topic of ethics which has so many different = meanings. =20

I wouldn't blame Coca Cola because I believe that marketing is based = on what=20 is already active in society. Marketing compaigns/emphasis what is = already=20 a norm or fade or rave in society. Santa Claus, for example, was = already=20 common knowledge, I believe, in society. Coca Cola just took = advantedge of=20 this, saw a way to take advantedge and stimulate their marketing and = sales by=20 supporting or exploiting the Santa Claus theme that society had already = created,=20 practiced and passing down generations. I believe that society in the = largest=20 part, dictates what we watch in movies and commercials, not the other = way=20 around. With this, society has the ability to change what we watch = and=20 what is campaigned to us. At least in the US.

Many young children are told these stories but still grow up to be = healthy=20 and normal human beings in socieety. And even though some some of = these=20 children may not have appreciated being tricked this way, for some = reason they=20 still grow up to continue the tradition to their own children.

A comment on January 26, 2006 from Richard N. = Stone, =20 Townsville, Queensland, Australia

I liked your page on Santa Claus. It stopped 1 = step short=20 of mentioning the next horrible realisation in a childs upbringing = :-

Humpty Dumpty, ........ was pushed.

From that moment, paranoia sets in and the child will never be = the same=20 again. Actually, most foreigners view America as highly = paranoid.

On the=20 religous side (which really should not be mixed with the topic of Sanata = Claus),=20 there are at least 700 religions on the face of the planet, each one = claiming to=20 be the one and only "true" one. As a result of this (and many other ingredients), I'm a complete atheist. At the age of 8, I got impatient = with=20 this spoon feeding of the bible at Sunday school and read the whole = thing. It is=20 an interesting novel. I appreciate it's (their) efforts to teach morals, = ethics=20 and understanding.

However, (the mathematicians credo) "Believing is NOT knowing" = applies=20 here. I believe that everyone should be taught a religion, and if they = cannot=20 see
past it, then that is where they will (and should)=20 stay.

Regards
Richard N. Stone
Townsville, Queensland,=20 Australia
(originally from Sydney, which I left when I was 20 and = have spent=20 25 years outside Australia, 2 in the USof A.)

Mathematicians) (an = example) - there were three men in a train compartment travelling North = from London to Scotland, right up the middle of the lovely
countryside in = the=20 centre of England. One was a mathematician, one was a scientist and the = other=20 was a newspaper reporter. The mathematician and scientist both had their = heads=20 buried in books, The reporter was looking out the window enjoying the = view of=20 the rolling green pastures when he sees a
black sheep. He says out = aloud,=20 "Oh, look, there is a paddock with some black sheep". This caused the = scientist=20 to lower his book and observe. He
corrected the reporter and said = "There is a=20 paddock with 1 black sheep". This piqued the curiosity of the = mathematician who=20 lowered his book just to
check the other two and he said "There is a = paddock=20 with a sheep that is black on one side".

ps - just loved your = comment=20 about :-
"If you slept or partied through your classes, I suggest you = explore=20 careers in fast food."

=20 =20 3D"1"

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