MY FIRST TIME ABROAD, I knew things were going to be different the =
moment I=20
saw my European host dad strip down to a speedo tighter than my bikini =
bottoms=20
and dive into the Baltic Sea. Cultural differences will surprise you, =
but you=20
have to learn to live with them to enjoy traveling.
When you realize you=E2=80=99re not as smart as you thought
You thought you knew it all. After all, you=E2=80=99ve been trained =
since birth to=20
consider yourself living in a melting pot. =E2=80=9CTraditional ethnic =
foods=E2=80=9D like=20
spaghetti and meatballs, burritos, and chop suey have laid the =
foundations for=20
our sophisticated, multicultural palates. If you really think so, I =
challenge=20
you to order one of these dishes in its alleged country of origin and =
not make a=20
total ass of yourself. Then, I challenge you to haggle for items like =
fabric=20
softener, tampons, or a bootleg iPhone in a bustling open-air market =
using your=20
straight-out-of-the-textbook =E2=80=9Cfluent=E2=80=9D language skills. =
Pre-departure, you thought you knew the food, the language, and the =
culture=20
of your destination. Then, you find yourself resorting to gestures and =
drawings=20
while trying to buy condoms (thanks for nothing, Spanish class), staring =
blankly=20
at people because they have a different accent than your teacher back =
home, and=20
having a public meltdown because none of the words being spoken to you =
were on=20
your vocab lists. And, by the time you mistakenly state that =
you=E2=80=99re =E2=80=9Cpregnant=E2=80=9D=20
instead of =E2=80=9Cembarrassed=E2=80=9D to your Spanish host family, =
fluent has taken on a=20
whole new meaning and you realize you don=E2=80=99t know anything at =
all.
When you=E2=80=99re forced to poke your head through the =
sunroof
Everything is small. Serving portions, refrigerators, cars, and often =
even=20
the people themselves are mini, relative to our Hummers, super-size =
fries, and=20
obesity epidemic.
I=E2=80=99ve spent time abroad yearning for men whose eyes =
weren=E2=80=99t at my boob level=20
and wasted precious days scouring stores for shoes that could =
accommodate my big=20
American feet. Besides coming to terms with these types of genetic =
differences=20
abroad, you=E2=80=99ll also get used to consuming the appropriate amount =
of food and=20
driving in cars that actually fit into parking spaces.
We come from the land of the unnecessarily big. When it comes to the =
things=20
we buy and consume, you=E2=80=99ll learn that bigger doesn=E2=80=99t =
really equal better. In=20
fact, it usually equals unnecessary waste and weight. If there=E2=80=99s =
one thing I=E2=80=99ve=20
taken away from my time abroad, it=E2=80=99s that smaller sometimes =
equals smarter.
When you learn there=E2=80=99s more than one definition of =
=E2=80=9Cpunctual=E2=80=9D
Without our rigid scheduling, we=E2=80=99d be late to work, late =
getting the kids=20
from soccer practice, and late for our Starbucks coffee break. Abroad, =
you=E2=80=99ll=20
find this time and scheduling junk is not an innate lifestyle.
For me, the lesson came only after the umpteenth time I=E2=80=99d =
waited an extra=20
hour for a man named Luis outside of a seedy metro station in Mexico =
City.=20
Evidently, our 9pm meeting time for him signified the time to shower, =
roll a=20
cigarette, and grab some tacos on the way to the metro.
Once you accept that the numbers on the clock are basically =
arbitrary, you=E2=80=99ll=20
stop getting pissed off at all the Luises of the world and start to =
arrive at=20
their flexible version of =E2=80=9Con time.=E2=80=9D
When you learn that eating=E2=80=99s more than just chewing
As it turns out, eating can serve a purpose beyond sustenance and a =
temporary=20
taste bud sensation. That deeper meaning will come once you=E2=80=99ve =
spent 5 hours at=20
a dinner table (flattening your ass a good bit in the process) with =
friends.=20
In many places, meal time is almost sacred =E2=80=94 a time to =
connect with family=20
and friends until the wee hours of the morning. Aside from the company =
and=20
conversation, it=E2=80=99s likely that what=E2=80=99s on the table will =
get your taste buds off=20
more than Mac and Cheese or a pre-made bagged salad ever could. =
Hopefully, once=20
you=E2=80=99ve stopped making (and missing) post-dinner plans, =
you=E2=80=99ll learn to quit=20
shoveling food down your throat at record speed in order to catch the =
last half=20
of American Idol.
When you=E2=80=99re alone in a foreign land, thinking =
=E2=80=9Cpeople are so nice=E2=80=A6=E2=80=9D
Whoa, people =E2=80=94 strangers =E2=80=94 want to feed me, show me =
around, and introduce me=20
to their families? While I=E2=80=99m on the road, I=E2=80=99m always =
taken aback at the selfless=20
generosity of people I meet. They love foreigners and are genuinely =
concerned=20
that you have a great time.
Ahh, when you put positive vibes out there, you get good travel karma =
in=20
return.
When you=E2=80=99re alone in a foreign land, thinking =
=E2=80=9Cpeople are so mean!=E2=80=9D
Nobody says sorry when they bump shoulders with you on the sidewalk. =
Your=20
friendly smiles at strangers are unreciprocated. Also, why =
doesn=E2=80=99t anybody have=20
patience with your language skills? At least you=E2=80=99re trying! =
Everybody blames you=20
for US foreign policy and the Bush years, even though you swear you =
never voted=20
for him.
Or maybe you=E2=80=99re just being overly sensitive because =
you=E2=80=99re feeling vulnerable=20
in a foreign country. Regardless, you start to understand the heavy=20
responsibility of being an ambassador to your country =E2=80=94 patriot =
or not.
When you decide you actually don=E2=80=99t like the attention
If you have two legs and breasts, prepare for courting and cat-calls =
in a far=20
more aggressive manner than Screech=E2=80=99s pursuit of Lisa Turtle. =
This is especially=20
true in Latin America.
At first, I wrote these men off as disrespectful machistos and =
gave=20
them the finger. Eventually, I chilled out and was able to ignore it, =
the way=20
the local women did. After all, it=E2=80=99d be naive to assume people =
would change=20
their ingrained behavioral patterns on the account of one American.
When you realize that nobody bites their tongue
Your mom always told you that if you don=E2=80=99t have anything nice =
to say, don=E2=80=99t=20
say anything at all. Really, I wonder if our euphemisms were born out of =
our=20
sensitivity or if it was the other way around. People you=E2=80=99re =
used to aren=E2=80=99t fat,=20
they=E2=80=99re plus-sized. Slower kids aren=E2=80=99t dumb, =
they=E2=80=99re special needs. Well, nobody=20
exercises a politically correct filter like an American does, so =
it=E2=80=99s a pretty=20
good idea to be prepared to be offended when you leave.
I was always getting more gordita, according to my Latino =
friends. I=20
was also la negrita, or =E2=80=9Cthe little black one.=E2=80=9D =
To my relief, they=20
weren=E2=80=99t hinting that I should stop eating or going in the sun. =
Rather, their=20
comments were more like endearing observations=E2=80=A6but I did raise =
my eyebrows when=20
they referred to all people of Asian descent as Chinese.
Photo: Vitor S=C3=A1
When going up shit creek is a real thing
In many countries with weak sewage systems, it=E2=80=99s necessary to =
throw used=20
toilet paper in that little garbage can beside the toilet.
Whatever you do, you are absolutely not to throw it in the toilet for =
risk of=20
a clog. But if you=E2=80=99re prone to forgetfulness, get used to the =
inner to flush=20
or not to flush debate. You=E2=80=99re damned if you do, but =
you=E2=80=99re that shitty=20
foreigner if you don=E2=80=99t.
When the line between public and private begins to blur
Public displays of affection vary per country, from no physical =
contact to=20
dry-humping on a park bench. I could never tear my eyes away from the =
dozens of=20
men lying on top of their spread-eagle girlfriends at my Mexican =
university. I=20
personally saved my own full-body contact for the salsa dance floor. =
But by far my favorite PDA to gawk at is that between Italian men. So =
casually they stroll down the streets, arms linked, carrying on their=20
conversations. They kiss on the cheek as a greeting and farewell. And =
guess=20
what, American? They=E2=80=99re not gay.
When you kiss the ground after getting out of a taxi
In the US, we follow traffic laws mainly to avoid getting a ticket. =
Abroad,=20
it=E2=80=99s terrifying to see these laws function more as guidelines. =
Driving can be=20
like a game of bumper cars, only 5 times as fast and over potholed =
pavement.=20
Even more terrifying is the helmetless family of 3, their dog, and a =
birthday=20
cake swerving through traffic on a mini-scooter.
Because I survived such chaos while illegally driving a mostly=20
non-functioning Fiat 500 at night, in the rain, uphill, without my =
glasses, I=20
can safely reassure you that it=E2=80=99s possible to come out alive, =
without killing=20
anyone, and without shitting yourself.
When you realize the rest of the world knows something you =
don=E2=80=99t
One night, you=E2=80=99re hanging out with your friend in a plaza. =
=E2=80=9CWhat time does=20
the football game start tonight?=E2=80=9D you ask him. =
=E2=80=9C19:15,=E2=80=9D he responds. You nod=20
your head and play like you knew 19:15 was a time.
Then, there=E2=80=99s the metric system. Nothing like the =
embarrassment of ending up=20
with enough pasta to feed 25 and just 2 tomatoes for sauce to get you to =
study=20
up on your kilos and grams. And what about the time you hysterically =
yelled at=20
your taxi driver to speed to the airport because you=E2=80=99re still 60 =
kilometers=20
away, but you only have 30 minutes?
Study up on what the entire rest of the world knows and =
you=E2=80=99ll save time,=20
money, and stress.
When your arrogance is put in check
I always knew I was from America. Once, when I was 17, my Chilean =
friend=20
referred to herself as an American as well. In disagreement, I called =
her out.=20
Luckily, she immediately pointed out that I was the one who was =
mistaken.
Some of us forget (or just don=E2=80=99t know) everyone in North, =
Central, South=20
America, and the Caribbean can accurately describe themselves as =
American. Don=E2=80=99t=20
be one of those people.
Vicki has without fail been nicknamed "VickiJones!!!" across all =
cultural=20
lines she has traversed. Something she never provoked or suggested, she =
just=20
rolls with it like the laid-back California girl she is. She is a =
capoeirista,=20
photographer, travel junkie and language nut. Her close friends are =
convinced=20
that she is an undercover international spy, capable of cameleon-ing =
into=20
various cultures, and they sometimes worry that traveling to any part of =
the=20
world doesn't worry her.
So true, Vicki =E2=80=94 I remember arriving in the Netherlands for =
a college study=20
abroad program and the Dutch knew Bush=E2=80=99s newly appointed =
cabinet members and=20
asked me my opinions on them. Yeah=E2=80=A6.ummm. I felt like such an =
idiot especially=20
since I didn=E2=80=99t even know who their prime minister was. I also =
remember a=20
French beach with lots of bellies hanging out over tiny Speedos.
Great article! It brought back lots of memories for=20
me.
=20
Alyssa =
This is really insightful! I related to pretty much all of those =
points and=20
could remember exact moments when they occurred to me. Travel is so =
important=20
for people =E2=80=93 it cures ignorance.
=20
Erick =
wow simplemente impresionante. No cabe duda que eres los ojos de =
muchas=20
personas, donde podemos ver a trav=C3=A9s de tus lineas un mundo =
distinto al que=20
vivimos.
=20
Milda Ratkelyte =
=20
Great article! =20
=20
Serenity =
MachistAs not machistOs =20
Just my two cents, no offense intended
=20
=20
carmen =
So glad that your travels have reinforced what I=E2=80=99ve been =
saying all along:=20
we should not travel to =E2=80=9CDemocratize=E2=80=9D or =
=E2=80=9CAmericanize=E2=80=9D the world. We=20
should pass freely and accept their version of the world. In other =
words,=20
when in Rome=E2=80=A6..
=20
Jessica Hill =
=20
Great tips! I=E2=80=99ve definitely experienced several of these, =
and then reverse=20
culture shock is a whole new ball game.
=20
=20
Jason Ball =
=20
Great Article. I unfortunately can relate to a few of=20
those.
=20
Amy McPherson =
=20
Hi Vicki, great article. Travel certainly helps us grow and =
understand the=20
world, it makes us humble, and sometimes makes us proud at the same =
time! Can=20
certainly relate =20
=20
Cat of Sunshine and Siestas =
=20
Um this is hilarious. My Spanish boyfriend wears a speedo, we a =
share 40m2=20
=E2=80=98house=E2=80=99 and could spend six hours having lunch. Spain =
is different, but it=E2=80=99s=20
fun!
=20
1dad1kid =
Some of these had me laughing and smiling from good memories. I =
remember=20
being surprised the 1st time I realized free refills on drinks was =
quite=20
uncommon outside the US. And I couldn=E2=80=99t believe the 1st time =
someone referred=20
to me as gordito. I thought for sure I was being incredibly=20
insulted.
=20
Reannon Muth =
=20
This is really insightful! I could especially relate to the =
=E2=80=9Ceating is not=20
just chewing=E2=80=9D part. As an American abroad, I was always the =
only one walking=20
down the street eating because I couldn=E2=80=99t be bothered to waste =
precious time=20
to sit and finish. I used to get annoyed with the weird looks people =
would=20
shoot me and I=E2=80=99d want to tell them =E2=80=9CCome on! =
It=E2=80=99s just food. Why do meals have=20
to be such an EVENT?=E2=80=9D I was so =
impatient.
=20
=20
Kathy Doll =
=20
Fantastic article!
=20
Tere =
I have promised myself to never say refer to the states to =
=E2=80=9CAmerica=E2=80=9D =E2=80=98cuz=20
as you said in the rest of the =E2=80=9CAmericas=E2=80=9D we learn in =
elementary school we=E2=80=99re=20
americans. I encountered this as a latin american studying in the US =
for a=20
while.
=20
JP =
Eh. While quite a few of these are true, this assumes that all =
Americans=20
are arrogant and completely ignorant of the outside world. Yes, I said =
Americans. I realize that America is two continents, but when people =
from=20
outside of the western hemisphere say =E2=80=9CAmerica,=E2=80=9D =
they=E2=80=99re referring to the=20
U.S.
![](3D"http://cdn1.matadornetwork.com/blogs/1/2013/09/man-speed=)
![](3D"http://cdn1.matadornetwork.com/blogs/1/2013/09/italy-din=)
![](3D"HTTP://cdn.matadornetwork.com.s3.amazonaws.com/assets/im=)
=20
=20
=20
=20 Just my two cents, no offense intended
=20
=20
