Oh Peter Shih. We love you. You took a stab at a satirical blasting =
of San=20
Francisco and fell horribly, terribly flat. Thanks for giving the city a =
chance=20
to unite in glorious fashion to crucify you and your pretentious =
complaints.=20
You=E2=80=99re the loudest proof that start-up / tech folk need to spend =
less time=20
whining about their surroundings and actually contribute to the city in =
which=20
they=E2=80=99ve skyrocketed rent.
It seems like 2am comes earlier and earlier every time you go out. =
This may=20
have something to do with not arriving at the bars until 1am. =
Nevertheless, 2am=20
last call seriously puts a damper on a good time. There has been some =
recent=20
talk about getting this extended to 4am like a normal, civilized =
metropolis.
4. Never getting to wear shorts
The coldest winter Mark Twain ever spent was a summer in San =
Francisco. Sad,=20
but there=E2=80=99s never been a more accurate and potent description of =
the city=E2=80=99s=20
weather. Living in SF gives validation to the unreasonable amount of =
time you=20
spend searching for the perfect pair of jeans.
The recent upswing in Bay Area sports has breathed significant life =
into the=20
city. This is good for the most part, until you have to start putting up =
with=20
new fans who don=E2=80=99t know a baseball from an avocado (just =
kidding, this is=20
California, everyone knows what an avocado looks like).
On the real though, going to AT&T Park on a Friday is like a=20
sports-themed frat party. Bandwagoners throw on a hat and drink $9.50 =
beers=20
until they throw up on the season-ticket holders actually watching the=20
games.
An unreasonable number of people are making the reverse commute every =
day =E2=80=94=20
Silicon Valley and the fleet of Google buses are the dead giveaway why. =
Not that=20
we need all the tech companies to cram into the city (nor do we want =
that to=20
happen), but that=E2=80=99s not the only industry underrepresented in =
the city.
Part of keeping the =E2=80=9Csmall big city=E2=80=9D feel means =
keeping the businesses out =E2=80=94=20
consider yourself extremely lucky if you both live and work in San=20
Francisco.
Although gentrification is in full swing up and down Valencia, parts =
of=20
Mission remain terrible black holes. None is worse than the 16th and =
Mission=20
Bart station. =E2=80=98Culture=E2=80=99 is fine and everything, but =
let=E2=80=99s find a way to promote=20
it without pissing everywhere and shouting gibberish at people trying to =
go=20
about their daily lives.
Might as well delete your Transit / iNextBus / Google Maps public =
transport=20
apps, because they aren=E2=80=99t going to help you get anywhere on =
time.
Just because living in Oakland is more alt than San Francisco =
doesn=E2=80=99t make it=20
better. You can still live in San Francisco and not be pretentious.
While OkCupid, Grindr, and Tinder are great sources of entertainment, =
forming=20
actual, meaningful relationships in San Francisco can be tough. If you =
do find=20
someone worth splitting a Netflix account with, they more than likely =
have=20
either a boyfriend, girlfriend, or murder charge.
This actually makes sense, but it=E2=80=99s still a pain in the ass =
to pay over twice=20
the amount you pay to get anywhere else on Bart just to get to the =
airport.
14. Waiting at least an hour to be seated for brunch unless you go =
at 10am=20
Brunching is a competitive sport in San Francisco, and it=E2=80=99s =
not for the weak=20
of wallet or heart. Like a strip of bacon, you can really get burned out =
here.=20
The key is being prepared to wait. That means the two most common =
reasons to=20
brunch =E2=80=94 being hungry and being hungover =E2=80=94 are not =
encouraged.
15. Leaving the Mission when it=E2=80=99s 75 degrees to go to the =
Richmond where=20
it=E2=80=99s 60
See #4. If you want any chance at warm weather, don=E2=80=99t venture =
toward the=20
ocean. Be wary of dressing lightly even if the sun=E2=80=99s shining =
downtown. Once you=20
move west and the fog grabs you, it=E2=80=99s not going to let go.
Honestly, why are you mad at us? We like convenience. The customer is =
always=20
right. When someone comes in and disrupts your market, you adapt. Quit=20
complaining and stop taking the long way with the meter on. We can see =
what=20
you=E2=80=99re doing.
17. The End Up being the only place to go after 2am
See #3. The End Up is fun, but we don=E2=80=99t need to group all the =
people who like=20
staying out past 2am in one place. Let=E2=80=99s get a few more options =
and avoid this=20
strange mixed bag of night owls.
Doesn=E2=80=99t matter if you had the best day of your life. 20 =
minutes of looking=20
for a spot around your apartment will get rid of that, no problem.
Like that bead of sweat inching its way down your back, biking up =
hills is a=20
terribly disgusting and slow process. If only there were a Wiggle=20
for every daunting hill.
Yeah, the Mission is full of hipsters. Yeah, the Haight is full of =
hippies.=20
But this isn=E2=80=99t a complete representation of either neighborhood, =
despite what=20
bourgie restaurants and vagrants will suggest on the surface, =
respectively.=20
Stereotypes exist for a reason, but it sucks that you get slapped with a =
label=20
immediately when you move into your apartment.
In a hostel in Europe, you will tell four French girls that you are =
from=20
California and they will ask if you surf every day. You will show them =
the scar=20
from when you got your appendix out and tell them you wiped out on some =
rocks=20
back in =E2=80=9907.
The beach in SF isn=E2=80=99t the beach, and it=E2=80=99s time we =
accept this.
The food in the city is incredible, but often you=E2=80=99re limited =
by the=20
neighborhood you live in. Sure, San Francisco is only 7=C3=977 miles, =
but it all=20
becomes relative. Who wants to make the trek to go get amazing dim sum =
in the=20
Richmond if you live in the Mission? Yep, fourth burrito this week.
Despite neighborhood restrictions, you really can=E2=80=99t go wrong =
with food in the=20
city. The gourmet cuisine from all around the globe will almost make you =
forget=20
there=E2=80=99s a bill coming.
Sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, and =
dickheads=20
=E2=80=94 for better or worse, you will find all walks of life in San =
Francisco. Each of=20
them contribute a unique aspect to a city overflowing with culture.
The city is one big photo opp. Whether it=E2=80=99s going on a bike =
ride in Golden=20
Gate Park, taking a hike up Twin Peaks, or getting down with the kids in =
Dolores=20
Park, the city is one of the best places in the world to spend time =
outside all=20
year long, shorts or no.
You can=E2=80=99t count the number of apps created just to improve =
your social life=20
in San Francisco. Sosh, Nextdoor, Grouper, UpOut, Spoton.It, the list =
goes on.=20
And of course, who could forget Lyft.
There is progressivism and there is San Francisco progressivism. San=20
Francisco is the most forward-thinking place in the country, and =
we=E2=80=99re mighty=20
proud of it. There isn=E2=80=99t an alternative lifestyle that =
isn=E2=80=99t accepted here =E2=80=94 as=20
long as you recycle.
=20
Get more stuff like this in your inbox!
Sign up for our newsletter and get emails of great stories like =
this.
Victor is a writer, TV binge-watcher, and sandwich connoisseur who =
lives in=20
San Francisco. Follow him on Twitter @vbeigelman.
Drew =
The new bay bridge span just opened today!
=20
=20
http://ianrobinson.net/ Ian =
I think Golden Gate Park should make the list of 5 reasons =
it=E2=80=99s cool to=20
live in SF.
=20
Thanks for the list.
=20
Grant Lamer =
=20
=E2=80=9CAlthough gentrification is in full swing up and down =
Valencia, parts of=20
Mission remain terrible black holes=E2=80=9D
Seriously? Worst choice of words EVER.
Also that area has always been like that, and like seriously you =
need to=20
calm down if you=E2=80=99re freaking out about if someone=E2=80=99s =
asking you for money or is=20
unappealing to your nostrils, eyes, or overly sensitive white =
privilege=20
bubble.
Sorry that came across harsh, but like really REALLY poor choice of =
words=20
there.
=20
guido35 =
sorry I=E2=80=99d argue that Progressivism belongs in the things to =
hate.=20
Progressive =3D liberal and that=E2=80=99s what=E2=80=99s ruining our=20
country
=20
Phil =
You=E2=80=99re wrong about the Burrito and Chinese food in the =
Richmond and=20
Mission. You should point out, getting a bag after ordering to-go is =
not=20
prohibited or it=E2=80=99s gonna cost you. I=E2=80=99m sure there are =
way more valid points=20
that replaces numbers 9 and 10, other than that, the rest of them =
can=E2=80=99t be any=20
more true.
Phil =
I meant, is prohibited.
=
=20
=20
joe =
#14, #16, #20 can apply to other cities =
too
=20
=20
alarimbaud =
=20
Have to agree with Grant Lamer. There also seems to be an irony to =
condemning the tech boom (#2) while also begging for gentrification to =
gloss=20
over 16th & Mission (#7=E2=80=A6 and the fact is, while those =
*sorts* may offend=20
your delicate sensibilities, they=E2=80=99re generally harmless, many =
even cool if you=20
talk to them =E2=80=93 I=E2=80=99ve never had a problem).
Also, Mark Twain never said #4 (and I love the weather, see #15), =
some=20
eyerolling with #3 (showing a picture with Lands End, representative =
of the=20
outdoors, with the landscape AFTER a huge portion of forested area was =
torn=20
down and paved over for =E2=80=9Cimproved visitor =
experience=E2=80=9D). Many people do surf=20
and enjoy the beaches (#21) =E2=80=93 perhaps fewer now in =
=E2=80=9Cmodern San Francisco=E2=80=9D, but=20
such people do exist. Dating (#12) is what you make of it, as is the =
case=20
anywhere. I remember the =E2=80=9989 quake (#9) being kinda fun (but =
I was little),=20
and a morbid part of me hoping for one to come and scare off those of =
#2. =20
There are actually burrito places in the Richmond (Chino=E2=80=99s, =
Gordo, etc=E2=80=A6) and=20
Chinese places in the Mission (Heung Yuen, Wild Pepper, etc=E2=80=A6) =
=E2=80=93 #23.
For #2 of the pros =E2=80=93 yes, diversity is great, but =
can=E2=80=99t anyone these days=20
appreciate it without patting themselves on the back for how =
=E2=80=9Caccepting=E2=80=9D they=20
are of =E2=80=9Call the different people=E2=80=9D (seems a bit =
marginalizing/patronizing,=20
no?)? Same for #5 (SF isn=E2=80=99t nearly as =E2=80=9Cforward =
thinking=E2=80=9D as it once was =E2=80=93 has=20
become stomping ground for transplants who like their =
pseudo-liberalism with a=20
dash of the nanny-shelter from their Midwestern upbringing =E2=80=93 =
see: those who=20
complain about #7). Love #4 of the pros all you want, but be careful =
of=20
crossing the line into hypocrisy when criticizing #2 of the cons. =
Etc, etc, etc=E2=80=A6
=
LA2SF =
I hope to move up to SF in the next few months. Where should I NOT =
move=20
to?
=20
Templeson Greendove =
=20
yea- probably the most socially disappointing conglomeration on =
earth =E2=80=93=20
dead after 8pm =E2=80=93 dullest city on earth frankly =E2=80=93 nice =
bridge =E2=80=93 but send me a=20
postcard =E2=80=93 NEVER again
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